


Into the Darkness

by Romanadvoratnalundar (audreyhepburns_eyebrows)



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mythology, Darkness, Gen, The Future Past Timeline, concepts of death and afterlife, light - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-29 19:57:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12092319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audreyhepburns_eyebrows/pseuds/Romanadvoratnalundar
Summary: She had whispered a name I hadn’t heard in so many years - as ancient as my home, as ancient as I find myself now. And in the darkness hath wrought its bearings to me, forcing me to face the horrors of myself that I was meant to face long ago...





	1. Chapter 1

I went into the darkness and tasted it’s bittersweet kiss. And in the darkness, I had found myself - sitting there, waiting for me. 

In the darkness, I found myself - withered, old, and solemn; and she had kissed me, whispering into the depths the truths I’d rather not hear. I had found myself, and she was old, withered, and solemn. 

I had found myself sitting upon a cliff, in the darkness; where I had once sat long ago, on a planet very far away.  _ Everything seems far away now.  _

_ Everything seems so very far away. _

She had whispered a name I hadn’t heard in so many years - as ancient as my home, as ancient as I find myself now. And in the darkness hath wrought its bearings to me, forcing me to face the horrors of myself that I was meant to face long ago. 

An in the darkness, I had found my home; as ancient and fiery as it once was; and I had found myself screaming out in the darkness, waiting. Waiting for a battle-cry I knew would not come. 

In the days of old I would have found myself waging a war; one that I had started, and one that I had ended. The darkness within myself taking its true hold upon me, and causing my demise. 

The Matrix remembers...And in it’s darkness, I see the light. And she whispers a name within my ears that I had not heard in a  _ very, very  _ long time. She takes my hands, and I am home...upon the ancient planet I long for every day since our eternity ended. 

In the darkness, I had found the light. And she had whispered my name, ancient as the battle-cry I had once screamed. Clawing out and tearing myself apart piece by piece, gnawing and screaming in unending horror. 

I had found myself. And she had whispered my name, taking my robes and washing away the blood - washing away my death. An in animalistic horror I had found myself -  _ long ago, a friend would have laughed at my supposed savagery, for it was as foreign to me as the the stars once were.  _

I took hold of the stars, and held them in my grasp gently, as she washed away the blood upon my robes. And in the light I found her.  _ Someone I had once thought to be long gone. _

I see her now, and I see that i am finally allowed to rest. 

_ Rest.  _

_ Peace. Finally, I am at peace with myself.  _ And in the darkness, and in the light, I had found - 

_ Romanadvoratrelundar. _


	2. I know who I am, do you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She looks at me, and I can see every eon of pain radiating through her eyes, and I can’t bring myself to speak. Her eyes mirror the galaxies we had watched burn, and are far too reflective than she remembered…

She sits beside me in silence. And I wish I knew what she had wanted. In all my years, I had never known what she wanted. 

_ It seems so long ago… _

And I look at my body, and see how old it is; and wonder to myself  _ when did I grow up? _ After years of travelling and years of stagnating, I had finally withered and passed. Time takes its toll on everyone - myself, not being excluded. 

_ I can finally tell her how I feel… _

She looks at me, and I can see every eon of pain radiating through her eyes, and I can’t bring myself to speak.  _ Her eyes mirror the galaxies we had watched burn, and are far too reflective than she remembered… _

I can’t bring myself to look at her anymore. 

They say that when the wise ones are deep in thought we should leave them be, and so I do...and sit under a nearby tree where the others should be arriving soon.  _ This is our life now.  _

_ In the wakes of the War, it is amazing how we still are.  _

A long time ago, I would have been laughed at, mocked. I find myself not caring at what they think anymore.  _ Does anyone really care? _

A surge of strength races through my veins, and I remember who I am, who I  _ was _ . And I remember painfully how torn away from home I was, and I remember how my adopted homeland would rather see me dead. 

_ I was once a lion, proud and strong, _ now all of me is just skin and bones and  _ human.  _

_ “Romana, why won’t you listen to me?”  _

She doesn’t respond. Staring off into her own universe to explore.  _ I long for my friend to return. I long for my  _ **_lover_ ** _ to return.  _ It doesn’t seem like she will.  

_ Why has fate been so cruel to us?  _

I look towards the cliff that she is perched upon, and as I move to go back to her, a hand is on my shoulder - gently holding me back - and for once, I do not move, I do not shove the hand away and proceed forwards. 

We stand like this for moments, or eons, time passes strangely in this void. I feel who I am, and who I once was, in one ball of nerves, bones, and other  _ painfully human _ anachronisms. 

I am Leela of the Sevateem. 


End file.
